Hello Hive, I am really buzzing 🐝 today because I get to tell you all about what I do, why I do it and how it gets me bouncing out of bed every day and ready to go for it! I aim to get you into that state of flow too, so keep listening for your weekly sprinkle of goodness…
Anything is possible when you have the right people to support you’ – Misty Copeland
Eu est quot porro legimus, ne elitr aliquam menandri duo, quo dictas vituperata ut. Ei mei tale expetendis.
The Wind Beneath Your Wings
So why do you need a mindset coach? The short answer is to help you achieve your goals and to support you on your journey. A mindset coach is there to help you weigh your decisions, identify what is or isn’t working and buoy you up. A mindset coach helps you to rewire your brain and your way of thinking and being.
Especially for entrepreneurs, mindset coaching allows you to enter the slipstream of those who have transitioned to leadership and digital business before you, making your ride much less bumpy!
You get to benefit from personal support, experience and knowledge.
‘Whether you think you can or think you can’t. You are right.’ –Henry Ford
Things That Make You Go Mmm
Mindset Coaching isn’t therapy. It is product development with you as the product!
Listen in to discover the tools and techniques that are used to help you reach your fullest potential:
Mindset Techniques – (01:09)
Misalignment to Motivation (03:18)
Make the Leap (09:31)
‘What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve’ – Napoleon Hill
Self-limiting beliefs feed into negative behaviours, whether conscious or unconscious and keep you playing small.
Perhaps you think you can’t do this on your own? Think you don’t deserve success?
It is my job to help you unlock those patterns that hold you back, help you with an action plan and help keep you accountable on your trajectory towards leadership and entrepreneurial success.
I get such an incredible buzz out of nurturing budding ambitions, breaking down years of negative thinking and/or conditioning and witnessing clients stepping forward to embrace their destiny with confidence and freedom. For some, it is the first time in their lives that they have allowed themselves to be real, to be vulnerable and give themselves permission to chase their dreams. It is truly humbling and exhilarating for both client and coach.
It is why I do what I do.
Giving yourself the gift of a positive mindset really can be a game-changer that transforms you into a magic maker! So what are you waiting for?
The Magic of Not Giving a F*ck of What People Think
We’re all guilty. From the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring about what other people think of us.
We accept the status quo for what it is because everyone around us does. We tiptoe our way through life by doing things to please others.
Eventually, our actions, appearances, and lives become moulded by how we think other people perceive us. How are these pants going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I spoke out? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me?
Reading that paragraph alone gave me a headache. It’s exhausting, and it has to stop.
Living a life that follows the notions of what other people think is a terrible way to live. It turns you into a spectator in your own life, who waits for other people to take action first. It turns you into a follower. Worst of all, it makes you become someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything.
Today is the last day we live a life dictated by others. Today, we’re going to get to the bottom of this people pleasing and the constraints it places upon your life. Today is the day we stop giving a [email protected]$%.
You often worry family or friends might not approve of something; people are talking about you.
No One Cares
Believe it or not, we’re not that special. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is—those people are feeling the same thing. No one in today’s “smartphone-crazed” society has time in their schedule to think more than a brief second about us. The fact of the matter is, when we do have time get our thoughts straight, we’re too busy thinking about ourselves and our shortcomings—not others.
A study done by the National Science Foundation claims that people have, on average, 50,000 plus thoughts a day.
It means that even if someone thought about us ten times in one day, it’s only 0.02% of their overall daily thoughts. It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think of most things relating to “me” or “my.”
So unless you have done something that directly affects another person or their life, they are not going to spend much time thinking about you at all.
I’ve always enjoyed watching performers trying to hustle for some change at train stations. These guys don’t give a flying [email protected]$%.
But the more interesting observation I made is how the spectators react. Rather than watching the actual performers, most people are looking around to see how other people are reacting. If people were laughing, they would start laughing too. But if people weren’t paying attention, they would also pay no mind.
Even when provided with the blatantly obvious opportunity to judge someone, people are still thinking about how others may perceive them. Once you understand that this is how people’s minds work, it’s a big step towards freedom.
You Can’t Please Everyone.
It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations. There will always be people—no matter what we say or how we treat them—that will judge us. Whether you’re at the gym, at work, taking the train, or even online playing Call of Duty. Even now it’s happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can prevent it from affecting you.
Stop Being a People Pleaser
If you’ve always felt a compulsion to meet everyone else’s needs before your own.
Think about the worst thing that could happen when someone is judging you or what you’re doing. I guarantee that chances are—nothing will happen.
Nothing, no one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one cares. What will happen is that these people will learn to respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they’ll have to respect you and the stance you have taken.
Start standing up for what you believe in—causes, opinions, anything. You’re going to have people that disagree with you anyway, so why not express how you truly feel? I’ve learned that it’s better to be loved by the few people you care about than to be liked by everyone.
These are family, friends, your spouse—the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times.
Focus on these people. They’re the only people that matter.
You Reap What You Sow
Worrying too much about what other people think can become a self-fulfilling prophecy because the way we think starts to become the way we behave.
These individuals become people-pleasers and are overly accommodating to others, thinking it will stop them from being judged. The opposite is true. Most people don’t like push-overs and are turned off by it. The behaviour we use in an attempt to please others can cause the opposing effect.
If you’re a push-over, then you’re going to be attracting push-overs, and vice versa.
This a dangerous path to go down if you don’t recognize its consequences.
When we start to attract and associate with the same people that share our weaknesses —we’re stuck. We stop growing because there’s no one to challenge us to be better.
We start thinking that this is the norm, and we remain comfortable.
Now, let’s talk about the cure. Here are five ways to stop giving a [email protected]$%.
Reclaiming Your Freedom
Know Your Values
First and foremost. Identify what to you in life, what do you truly value, and what are you ultimately aiming for?
Once you know who you are, and what matters to you, what other people think of you becomes significantly less important. When you know your values, you’ll have something to stand up for —something you believe in.
You’ll stop saying yes to everything. Instead, you’ll learn to say no when friends pressure you to go bar-hopping, or when a tempting business opportunity distracts you from your business. When you have your values straight, Everything else will straighten up too!
Put Yourself Out There
Now that you know what your values are, it’s time to put yourself out there.
Here are a few suggestions:
Wear a style or colour that you would never normally choose in a million years!
Flirting/Asking someone out
Keep in mind that when you’re doing any of these activities, you have to speak your mind. Start small if you have to and build up to new challenges until you feel comfortable but be ready to stand your ground with integrity and quiet strength if someone else questions your choices.
Surround Yourself with Pros
Surround yourself with self-assured people who live life without compromising their core values. Their habit will rub off on you quickly.
One of my best friends has been a significant influence on me. Having spent the summer with him, I’ve observed countless times where he voiced his opinion on controversial topics. What I learned was that he was voicing opinions that most people already had in their heads, but were too afraid to voice.
People admired him for being so honest and direct, even when they disagreed with his views. Thanks for not giving a [email protected]$%, buddy.
Create a “Growth List”
A Growth List compiles all the things in life that makes you uncomfortable. These are fears, insecurities—anything that gives you the jitters. Here’s how it works.
You start by writing them then one-by-one, you do them. Once you complete the task, you move on to the next.
Rinse and Repeat.
My first growth task was taking a cold shower. I turned the water as cold as it could get, and I could feel my body shake before I even entered the shower.
The inner voice in my head was talking. It was hard at first. But surprisingly, it got more comfortable the second time. Then even easier the third time. Before I knew it, my body stopped shaking—I was no longer uncomfortable; I’d conquered my fear.
This exercise works wonders. I have yet to find a better way to get out of my comfort zone. You can read all the books in the world about being confident or getting over your fears, but if you don’t take action, you’re just someone who’s read how to ride a bicycle without ever having ridden one.
If you’re looking for an ultimate transformation that combines all of the points above, you should travel alone. Travelling with other people can be fun, but you won’t get the opportunity to get out of your comfort zone truly.
You’ll be exposed to different social cultures, break social norms that you didn’t even know existed, and ultimately, be forced to burst out of your small bubble.
Bring as little as possible, and fit everything into one backpack or small suitcase.
Plan nothing, except for a one-way flight ticket to your destination—figure everything else out when you’re there.
Trust me; you’ll be just fine. It won’t be easy initially, but don’t get discouraged. Being comfortable with uncomfortable will grow with time. I continue to struggle with it every day, as do many others. But you need to get started today.
The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don’t give a [email protected]$% are the ones that change the world.
Be one of those people.
Start living life the way you want, be fearless like you once were as a child, and always, always stand up for your truth.
Startups Challenges – Entrepreneurs face many challenges in today’s ultra-competitive business world. Fortunately, recent times have also blessed entrepreneurs with more resources for tackling those problems than ever before.
Not an accountant? Not a problem.
In this episode, I will discuss the top challenges faced by entrepreneurs today, defines why each problem exists, and offers solutions so you can operate an efficient and successful business.
Cash flow management
Cash flow is essential to small business survival, yet many entrepreneurs struggle to pay the bills (let alone themselves) while they’re waiting for checks to arrive. Part of the problem stems from delayed invoicing, which is common in the entrepreneurial world.
You perform a job, send an invoice, then get paid (hopefully) 30 days later. In the meantime, you have to pay for everything from your employees or contractors to your mortgage to your grocery bill. Waiting to get paid can make it challenging to get by — and when a customer doesn’t pay, you can risk everything.
Proper budgeting and planning are critical to maintaining cash flow, but even these won’t always save you from stressing over bills. One way to improve cash flow is to require a down payment for your products and services.
Your down payment should cover all expenses associated with a given project or sale as well as some profit for you. By requiring a down payment, you can at least rest assured you won’t be left paying others’ bills; by padding the down payment with some profit, you can pay your own.
Another strategy for improving cash flow is to require faster invoice payments. Invoice your clients within 15 days, which is half the typical invoice period. This means if a customer is late with a payment, you have two weeks to address it and get paid before the next month’s bills are due.
ore and more companies are requiring immediate payment upon project completion — and in our digital age when customers can pay invoices right from their mobile phones, it’s not a stretch to request immediate payment.
You can also address cash flow management from the other side of the equation by asking your own vendors to invoice you at 45, 60 or even 90 days to allow ample time for your payments to arrive and checks to clear.
If you can establish a good relationship with vendors and are they’ll be willing to work with you once you explain your strategy.
And if you’re looking for an easier way to pay bills and save money, consider sending checks via email.
Do you know who dreads job interviews the most? It’s not prospective candidates — it’s entrepreneurs.
The hiring process can take several days of your time: reviewing resumes, sitting through interviews, sifting through so many unqualified candidates to find the diamonds in the rough. Then, you only hope you can offer an attractive package to get the best people on board and retain them.
Far too many help wanted ads are incredibly vague in terms of what qualifications candidates must have, what the job duties are, what days and hours will be worked, and what wages and benefits will be paid.
You can save yourself a ton of time by pre-qualifying candidates through exclusive help wanted ads that are ultra-specific in what it takes to be hired at your firm, as well as what the day-to-day work entails.
Approach your employee hunt the same way you would approach a customer-centric marketing campaign: through excellent targeting.
Once you have a pool of prospects, arrange for a “walking interview” in which you take candidates on a tour of their working environments. Ask questions relevant to the job and candidates’ experiences, expectations, dedication, and long-term goals.
Don’t act like an overlord determining which minion gets to live another day; instead, behave as though you’re seeking a partner to help you operate and grow your business.
Take the time to seek real references: not the neighbour lady your candidates grew up with, but people who can honestly attest to their work ethic and potential.
Once you’ve picked a candidate and before you’ve made a job offer, ask them specifically what it will take to keep them employed with you for the long haul. Tell them to be honest with their expectations.
Provided they do a good job for you, you’ll know what kind of rewards they’re seeking, and you can make adjustments accordingly: Do they want more vacation? The opportunity for advancement? More pay? Freedom from micromanagement?
This isn’t to say you have to bend backwards for your employees; however, it stands to reason that if you make expectations clear for both parties you can lay the foundation for a long-term, mutually-rewarding client-boss relationship.
Time management might be the biggest problem faced by entrepreneurs, who wear many (and all) hats. If you only had more time, you could accomplish so much more!
Make time. Like money, it doesn’t grow on trees, of course, so you have to be smart about how you’re spending it.
Create goal lists: You should have a list of lifetime goals, broken down into annual goals, broken down into monthly goals, then broken down into weekly goals. Your weekly goals then will be broken down into specific tasks by day.
In this manner, what is on your task list in any given day is all you need to do to stay on track with your lifetime goals
If any tasks do not align with your goals, eliminate them
If any tasks do not have to be completed by you, delegate them
Consistently ask yourself: “Is what I’m doing right now the absolute best use of my time?”
You know you need to delegate or outsource tasks, but it seems every time you do something gets messed up, and you have to redo it anyway.
Find good employees (see above) and good outsourced contract help, for starters (Fiverr or Upwork are great sites to find freelancers). You might have to pay a little more for it, but the savings in time (and the resulting earning potential) more than makes up for it.
Next, be ultra-specific it will take a little more time at first, but write down detailed steps listing what you want your help to do.
Don’t make assumptions, and don’t assume your help will be able to think for themselves (they can, but they will complete the job verbatim because that’s what they’re trained to do).
So, don’t say “list stats in a spreadsheet” when you can say “alphabetically list XYZ in the right spreadsheet column, then list statistic A in the next column.” It might seem like overkill, but take the time to be specific once, and your help will get it right every time after that.
Choosing what to sell
You know you could make a mint if you just knew what products and services to sell. You’re just unsure how to pick a niche.
Admit that you’re weak in identifying profit-making niches, and delegate the task to someone competent in this area.
You don’t need to hire a large, expensive marketing firm; instead, recruit a freelance researcher who has experience in whatever type of field you’re considering entering (retail e-commerce, service industry, publishing, etc.). Have them conduct market research and create a report with suggested niches, backed by potential profit margins and complete SWOT analysis: Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.
This isn’t to say you should have someone else decide for you; however, if you’re not good at identifying niches, it’s a good idea to have someone who is making suggestions. You can then analyse the proposals for yourself to determine if you agree. Taking this step now can save you a lot of time, money and hassles later — and it can save your entire business and livelihood.
You don’t know the best way to market your products and services: print, online, mobile, advertising, etc. You want to maximise your return on investment with efficient, targeted marketing that gets results.
Again, if you’re not adept at creating marketing plans and placing ads, it’s a good idea to outsource your marketing strategy to someone who is. At this point, all you need is a core marketing plan: what marketing activities will you undertake to motivate purchases? Give your planner a budget and tell them to craft a plan that efficiently uses that budget to produce profits.
This is not the time for experimentation. You can do that later, on your own or with the advice of your marketing strategist, after you’ve established a baseline that works.
You want to start or grow your business, but you don’t have much capital to do it with.
There are many ways to get funding, from traditional bank loans to family and friends to crowdfunding campaigns. You can choose these routes, yes, but I prefer the self-fuelled growth model in which you fund your business endeavours.
Instead of trying to launch a multi-million dollar corporation overnight, focus on your initial core customers. Continually work to find new customers, of course, but consistently strive to be remarkable to those customers you already serve.
Word-of-mouth will spread, and more customers will come looking for you. As they do, develop systems and business processes that allow you to delegate tasks without sacrificing quality. Your business will grow slow and steady, and you’ll be able to solve problems while they’re small.
Think about where you want to be five years from now. Can you get there without help, even if you have to delay growth a bit while you’re doing it?
This is the best strategy to adopt for small business entrepreneurs. If you do feel you need funding, however, be sure to consult an attorney to make sure you’re not giving up too much of your business to get it.
Even though cash flow is fine, it seems you never have enough in your budget to market your company to its full potential.
Unless you’re one of the Fortune 500 (and even if you are), every entrepreneur struggles with their budget. The key is to prioritise your marketing efforts with efficiency in mind — spend your money where it works — and reserve the rest for operating expenses and experimenting with other marketing methods.
Keep a close eye on your money, too: chances are, there are areas you can skim to free up more funds. Unless an expense is critical to your business and represents an investment with an expected return, cut it. Do this exercise: See how lean you can run your business.
You don’t have to do it, but cut everything you can and see if you still feel you can run your business (save for what you have to delegate and market with). Somewhere in between your leanest figure and your current budget is a sweet spot that will allow you to be just as effective and leave funds leftover to fuel growth.
We are assuming you are growing, not that you can’t grow, and you’ve come to the point at which you can’t take on any more work in your current structure.
Create new processes that focus on task delegation. Many entrepreneurs, used to wearing all the hats, find themselves in this position once they’ve achieved a modicum of success. Because you’re doing everything, your growth halts to a stop when it hits a self-imposed ceiling. The only way to break through is to delegate tasks to others to take yourself out of the production end, and segue into management and, finally, pure ownership.
An entrepreneur’s life is tough, at least in the beginning. It’s easy to get discouraged when something goes wrong or when you’re not growing as fast as you’d like. Self-doubt creeps in, and you feel like giving up.
Being able to overcome self-doubt is a necessary trait for entrepreneurs.
Having a good support system will help family and friends who know your goals and support your plight, as well as an advisory board of other entrepreneurs who can give objective opinions and suggestions as to the direction of your business.
One of the best ways to deal with self-doubt is to work on your goals and tasks lists.
When you’re down and lack motivation, look at your lists and know that the tasks you do today are contributing to your life goals. By doing them, you’re one step closer, and you can rest assured that you are, indeed, on the path to business success.
Entrepreneurs face many challenges, and volumes have been written about how to overcome them. Perseverance and intelligence are your allies; use them to your advantage to keep working toward your goals. Understand that you’re not the first to struggle.
Because of that, there are many resources available to help you get through your darkest days as an entrepreneur, so you can reap the immeasurable rewards that come with building your own successful business.
‘Successful people are not standing on a mountain of successes, they are standing on a mountain of their failures’, so says this week’s guest, Britney AuClair.
Our society celebrates the successful and lauds them publicly but what is the story behind those apparently easily won laurels worn so casually upon their heads? How did they get there? What were their struggles?
Too often we only see the end product and measure ourselves by notions of ‘instant’ success and it can paralyse us. How do we move, like Alice in Wonderland, ‘through the looking glass’ and find ourselves in a different reality, one that gives us the right mindset to learn from and accept our failures not as a false step, but as the starting point on an ever-evolving journey towards the greatest prize of all – success by our own standards and unparalleled personal growth
A little bit about Britney…
Britney loves her career as the owner of a digital marketing business serving the needs of local businesses by managing their social media, reputation and review management but she started out in a very different place.
Growing up, Britney had to deal with the reality of substance abuse around her, family tragedy and feeling isolated. Fast forward a few years and Britney had a baby and a partner struggling with his own demons.
She was trying to figure out how to move forward in a way that could offer her emotional and financial independence and joined an affiliate marketing programme but quickly realised that it wasn’t working for her. Having spent time and money, and understanding she was not on the right path led Britney to feeling held back and filled with self-doubt.
She knew she had to take action and push past the mindset barriers to be able to define life and success on her own terms.
No experience is ever wasted
The path to success is never linear and is littered along the way with innumerable failures. Despite having invested heavily in both her personal life and entrepreneurial projects Britney came to understand that each time she failed, she gained.
Her breakthrough came when she realised that failure is just a perception. She had acquired digital tools and know-how, pushed herself to take risks, found a group of cheerleaders to support her on her journey and become a different, stronger and more empowered person along the way. There is no right way or wrong way.
Failure forces people to become more creative, to think up ingenious solutions to problems, to reach out, to build emotional resilience, to take risks and to move forward through the pain. It isn’t how many times you fall down but how often you get back up! We must learn how to learn.
Learning how to roll with the punches
People may reject your ideas or your services for any number of reasons but this is not a reflection of you. It is very easy to internalise the negative. It takes guts to put yourself and your ideas out there and it can feel incredibly personal if our business ideas are not warmly received or do not translate into the results we hoped for.
Failure can be embarrassing, disappointing and downright painful but it is also necessary for growth, innovation, maturity and discernment. Learning demands failure, progress demands failure but those bumps and bruises can hurt.
Britney shares her four-step process for dealing with failure and overcoming it:
Allow yourself to feel the pain
It is normal to feel a little crestfallen if things don’t pan out how we hoped. Acknowledge these feelings but keep them in perspective. Think about the process that led to this outcome and identify where and how you might have done things differently and why you are feeling this way.
Who can I share this with?
Now is the time to find your cheerleaders and rant! Get it off your chest and unload. It can be incredibly cathartic to have a friend, family member or colleague who can listen without judgement and yet can hold you to account. Perhaps they have something to share about their own failures that may be useful? Learn from those that survived and remember that a problem shared is a problem halved.
Be willing to ask for help
This can be a very difficult thing to do especially for guys who have been taught not to show any signs of ‘weakness’ and for women who think they must be multi-tasking goddesses in perfect control of their lives at all times. Sometimes it can be as simple as delegating household chores or buying in services or it could be asking someone within the digital community to share a skill with you or teach you a hack. If you don’t ask, you don’t get!
How can I move forward?
Take a step back and see if, perhaps this failure was designed to get your attention, to stop you going too far the wrong way.
Give yourself a little space from an initial setback, allow your emotions to cool, and let your rational side regain control. Then, you can look at your situation with new eyes and determine how to proceed. – Do I need to do something differently? Do I need to grab some advice? Do I need to acquire new skills? Do I need to change course? Is this course of action going to take me closer to where I want to be?
Britney continues to use these four steps to guide her in her digital business growth and her personal decision making and now sees ‘failure’ as a way to get excited about the opportunity to innovate and transform.
The gift of failure includes building the fortitude to never say die, the humility to learn, change course and get onto our truer path. Every success story is littered with failures that acted as signposts to a better way of living, doing and being.
It is inevitable that you will fall down the rabbit hole just like Alice in Wonderland and find yourself in a different than expected reality but give yourself the credit and recognition you deserve because just by trying, you have accomplished more than most people ever will!
The last word this week goes to one of the greatest athletes who ever lived, the basketball player, Michael Jordan.
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Forgiveness has the power to release Freedom and Happiness.
There’s an Arab proverb that states that you should write the bad things that happen to you in the sand so that they can be quickly erased from your memory.
However, most of us engrave things that happen to us in stone; therefore, our painful memories remain immortalised in our minds.
My past taught me that when someone harms you, you’re chained to that mistreatment and memory like a slave.
Forgiveness requires self-discipline, will-power complex thinking and personal effort. It’s a Freedom Crusade.
It’s not forgetting, an act of kindness or being a doormat; It’s to be courageous and to decide to start living like a Badass!
Feeding the anger that lives in you will not fight the pain but feed it. Before you know it you’ve absorbed the worst of your “past” and on some level even start to operate with the same toxic and destructive energy.
Forgiveness isn’t an airy-fairy way of saying it’s okay
It’s setting ourselves free from the emotional chains, as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment that link us to this experience.
It’s saying what you did is not okay, and I refuse to be connected to it any longer!
Forgiveness is about being a Freedom Champion!
Being free means not being a hostage of the past,
Being free means laughing more than others,
Being free means seeing beauty everywhere, and looking forward to another day,
Being free means not being afraid of criticism and follow your heart no matter what,
Being free means speaking the truth,
Isn’t that’s worth fighting for?
Forgiveness is self-love.
It’s committing to yourself to not live in the shadow of your tormentors, but being present and open to all possibilities, to be limitless and to create and generate the life you truly desire.
You do get to choose how you will let happiness into your life. Don’t sell your soul to the phantoms of your past.
The Darkness is only there to show you the light that shines within and cannot and will never be extinguished.
Forgiveness is the most magnificent middle finger of all time!
The most fabulous discovery I ever made was the fact that my story can inspire others who go through the same sad and dark experience I went through as a child.
This truth dawned on me at an event in San Diego, where I was invited to share my experience of the abuse I suffered as a child.
This humbling experience of sharing my painful but past story that day remained fresh in my mind.
I was moved by something beyond my power; something so intense that I was obliged to tell the audience not just the story of abuse but the story of my journey to recovery. It was indeed an event I gladly remembered.
Healing and Forgiveness are Long Processes
For many years, the burden of my past weighed heavily on me as I battled the shame, anger and, of course, self-blame.
I was helpless against these emotions.
I felt like an empty, barren land once full of vegetative life but now robbed of its glory and beauty.
But I decided to put an end to the dark road my life was spiralling on.
I convinced myself that recovery was the best path to take if I must be released from the painful past.
The decision to embark on the journey to self-discovery yielded good results, so I ultimately surrendered.
The healing power of recovery surged through me, and my misery gave way. Gradually, the bitterness that kept me in bondage for so long left and was replaced with inner peace.
The same moment, anger, guilt and disgust for myself and others were no more.
The fact that I could forgive myself paved the way for self-love and personal growth, which were missing before.
The process of recovery is the basis of a fruitful and positive relationship with yourself and others.
The step I took set me free from the childish attitude I clung to and launched me into womanhood.
True, we cannot afford to live in the past just because we feel victimised in one way or another.
Giving in paralyses our gifts and ability to see clearly, and can wreck our lives.
In many cases, we find it easier to blame the past instead of ourselves for our failure, laziness and irresponsibility.
I chose to heal and be an inspiration to others who struggle with their past.
My vision is to enlighten women all over the world and show them that they can achieve results that far exceed anything they ever imagined.
Nothing we suffer in life is in vain.
Our stories – sad or happy ones – and our self-discovery lend power and meaning to our lives.
I am full of resilience just because I let go of the haunting and hurting past. Now I am a loving, healthy and peaceful woman.
It is my wish that all victimised women find the same inner peace and freedom.
However, many misunderstand the purpose of forgiveness.
They think it means that you agree that what happened to you was right or that you deserved it in one way or another.
No one deserved to be hurt; no one can accept child abuse or any form of molestation as normal either from family and friends.
Benefits of Forgiveness and Letting Go
Forgiveness works better when you do not suppress the hurt and pain you go through. But you must set necessary boundaries to stop future occurrences.
Forgiveness must come from within just after the victim has addressed the grief of the past.
You must allow all the anger, rage, sadness and betrayal to roll over you like the wave of an ocean. This sets you free from inner turmoil.
Emotions Are Crucial
We get released from emotional burden when we acknowledge the worst in our lives.
As we do this first, we feel free from the prison of our past. This gets bigger when we express our deepest emotions without restraint or criticism from others.
Family members and friends should be careful at this point and play their roles well. They must not push the victim to grant forgiveness to the abuser hurriedly.
They should allow that part to come on naturally from within the victim. It is a process which, when mismanaged, can make it more difficult for the victim to recover from initial hurt or pain.
The best action to take at that point is to let the victim know they have the right to express their hurts and feelings without being judged.
Lending a listening ear can be a more effective strategy than forcing the victim to show untimely forgiveness.
It will be best to keep in mind when helping victims of abuse that the worst thing you can do is to talk them out of the way they feel.
Victims of abuse should be allowed to express their feelings without thinking they are wrong or looking for cheap popularity.
Once these barriers are removed, the process of recovery becomes natural.
The victim may not instantly arrive at the place of forgiveness, but it will help to move forward, feel relieved and have a fruitful relationship with others.
Next is the neutral stage when much of the deep emotions begin to fade away, and memory of childhood abuse becomes faint.
This is precisely when the healing process starts, and victims cannot afford to miss this stage.
The words of Lewis Smedes echo great truth:
“The first, and often the only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who f… When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.
How to Deal with Trauma
There are different paths to follow in the journey to recovery. It is essential to find out which one is best for you.
Forgiveness that draws strength from a spiritual or religious background is one of them. The crucial thing is to choose the form of healing that will annihilate blame so efficiently that you do not feel like a victim any longer.
That victim mentality can define your life and make you a hostage to your past.
Furthermore, you can transform your life by taking responsibility for who you are now.
Choose to let go of the chains of the past by connecting to the fresh and beautiful new you.
Finally, do not let the failure of others define who you are.
An abuser is a failure, so you should not allow that you set your life on a sad and bitter course. Being free from the feeling of victimisation is the sign of recovery.
Personally, choosing to let go led me to a present life filled with courage, meaningful relationship and never-ending love for life.
I am now free inside and outside.
You, too, can experience that freedom from the past.
Living in the past is not worth the trouble. Find your form of healing and follow through.
It is your life to live, so don’t let someone else dictate your happiness.
Choose, decide and follow the process of recovery!
You have no relationship with this traffic, they have never been on your site or landing page before. They come through a search, a video, or social advertising. They are the new blood of your business.
You must build trust, credibility, and authority with your cold traffic. Before they decide to buy your products, you have to prove that your brand is worth the investment.
Can you imagine your reaction if someone asked you to move in with them on your first date?
There are two things I’m sure of: Life and Death. Both are inevitable, and a blessing given to each of us.
Since the age of eight, I have lost a lot of people who meant the world to me.
Three deaths stroke my tribe in the past two weeks and this morning I received a phone call announcing the fourth one.
There I am sobbing and reflecting on how death has shaped my life.
Death is painful and tragic no matter how the person left this world. The loss of people of all ages has taught me a few things.
“Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.”
Do not take the people you love for granted
If you are lucky enough to have loved ones in your life, call and visit them often. Share your experiences with the people who love you.
It’s all a matter of perspective
So you lost your phone, or you said something on Facebook that caused a bit of a storm. So what?
Let’s think about how important it is. Is it the end of the world? No? So, move on. Don’t dwell on insignificant things, because they are reversible.
Compare the idea that’s causing you grief with something that would cause you real pain; perspective is powerful.
Be around people who light your fire
People who are lighthouses and hold on to them. When my aunt Julia unexpectedly passed eleven years ago of an aneurysm, my priorities changed; and I started to see the world differently.
I don’t care much about arguments, gossiping, negativity or self-centred people.
Interact with people who make you feel positive and hold on to them. Find your tribe, and let them know you appreciate them.
I always tell my “light gang’ how much they mean to me. Make sure they know they light up your life, and you, in turn, you will light up their day.
Do you know what’s worse than finding yourself in a place you don’t like?
Staying there. We’ve all been in situations where we aren’t happy. Maybe you hate your job; perhaps you’re in a bad relationship. Leave it.
Be in charge of your happiness; no one else will.
Don’t be complacent, and spend your time wishing away your tomorrows. Don’t wait for a more convenient moment.
Be brave, leap. It will be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok, it’s not the end.
Remember that thing you’d love to do someday?
Do it now!
I’ve watched so may friends stumble on this. Plagued by ‘what ifs’ and doubts, unable to move forward because they are afraid.
We’ve all heard people shouting ‘YOLO’ and chastising our safety-minded heads, and we laugh it away because it isn’t practical.
But what losing loved ones taught me is that you aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow, another year, or another fifty. So if you have a passion, you want to pursue why wait for the perfect time?
What’s the point of spending years doing something that you hate and then die? You don’t want to have wasted your life waiting for the perfect time. There is no ideal time. But there is today.
Shine and help others to shine
I pretended to be stupid for a long time to avoid intimidating those around me, not because I’m some genius, but I didn’t want to appear arrogant. That’s stupid! It doesn’t serve anyone, and it didn’t help me.
What serves you, is to be the best version of yourself. And as you liberate yourself you will unconsciously permit others to do the same.
Don’t do things that make you unhappy
Sound simple? It’s not that simple.
It takes a lot of focus and will to say no to and let go of things that aren’t helpful to you, but your life genuinely is too short not to.
It has has been my mantra since the day my aunt Julia died unexpectedly 11 years ago. It’s not been easy to follow.
I’ve been in crap places doing things I didn’t want to do, and it was easier to stay, but it wasn’t helping me, and I was miserable, So I left.
I left a relationship that pushed me to the edge of suicide; I left a job because I felt numb. And that was scary. But those decisions got me to a much better place.
If you’re unhappy, then something isn’t right and needs to change.
Figure out what it is and make that change. You OWE it to yourself.
Find your thing, and do it
How often have you heard to just “Do what you love”? It can sound like a load of hullabaloo. But it’s not.
I have a friend who says “What’s your tennis ball?” What is the thing that, like a dog chasing a tennis ball for hours on end, gets you excited?
Maybe it’s playing the piano or working painting, or perhaps you love doing yoga or collecting boat miniatures.
Find your tennis ball and do it. When you chase things you’re passionate about, opportunities follow.
We often hear that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in something. So do what you like and see where it leads you, plus you’ll have fun along the way.
One day you’ll be thanking yourself for having done so.
Create serendipity for yourself
We all love those moments when you are in the right place at the right time. It looks like luck, but in truth, you create them.
Be with people who challenge you to do more and with who you come alive. Step out of your comfort zone, try something new and scary every month, you will be stupefied by the opportunities you create for yourself.
Go out there and create serendipity for yourself. The only reason I now have the privilege to run a business, write blogs and coach women I because I put myself out there.
So why not breaking out of your comfort zone today? Try something that stretches you. You never know what it will attract in your life.
Give, give, and give some more
“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.”
I feel so happy when I see someone being joyful because of something I’ve done for them. We all have so much to offer: time, money, knowledge, advice, a smile.
It’s so easy to share a little of yourself with those who need it, and it makes life so much more vibrant.
I volunteered in various places, and each week I’d walk away beaming.
Not keen on volunteering? Then why not give to people you know and need a listening ear or support? It will enrich your life and their lives.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
We live in an ever-connected world, and that doesn’t help our self-confidence. We are acutely aware of the fantastic adventures and jobs that our peers are undertaking.
FOMO is accepted into the national vocabulary and dampening our chances at being happy with our lot.
You have a friend who went off to India for eight months on an adventure of a lifetime, you see your peers starting up businesses and taking year-long sabbaticals, and it’s hard not to beat yourself up thinking that you’re not brave enough.
Instead of criticising yourself, set your definition of success, it’s personal. Take small steps; they’ll lead you in the right direction.
Be grateful; you’re alive
We all have something to be thankful for, no matter what has happened in our lives.
I have so much to be grateful for. I feel the pain of my loved one’s death, and sometimes it’s tough to keep it up, to feel positive and to move forward. But most of all I am grateful for the time we had together; I am thankful for the last time I saw them, for the conversations, the laughter, the hugs.
I have an appreciation for my silver lining.
These lessons learned from living through the grief of losing someone I loved have brought an awareness that guides me to live a better, happier and fuller life.
The death of friends and family led me to the beautifully intricate and fulfilled life I now have.
I hope this blog resonates with you because we can all find something in difficult times that we feel gratitude for; a lesson learned, a new friend, a newfound strength.
This is the powerful gift of death to life.
Did you miss last week’s post? Check it out here: Getting Back Your Inner Power
When growing up the harshest flip we face is when our unconditional supporters become our harshest critics.
Home becomes a war zone; mom and dad turn into THE enemy.
Then comes the blessed time in life when you spread your wings and leave the nest. Right?
We are all familiar with this. You turn eighteen, go off to University and move out the house or the country like me :-)))
As you grow older, you learn to realise one of the most important things you need to decide is who you choose to disappoint in life.
Despite each of us eventually breaking through the regular cycle of leaving home and starting our own lives, many of us still feel obligated to our family.
There is this need to PLEASE and make our parents proud. Thank god! There is a way out.
And I know because I’ve been experiencing it for the past ten years. I was a rebellious child, but rebellion doesn’t serve healthy relationships and eventually transforms into healthy independence and respect.
For some people, it’s much later in life than others; I’ve spoken with people in their late sixties who still feel obligated to their parents and as a result resentful.
For me, it started with realising that I value family. I love my tribe. Period.
I also love myself, which means I’m not going to give up my heart’s desires and dreams to comply with what my parents think is best for me like I had to all throughout my childhood until my thirties.
I’m passionate and have a strong desire to break free of the practical way of living. And that’s what I am doing.
At the same time, I know in my heart that love, especially with family members, ought to stand up to tests like this. It came with a price.
I learned to stand in the fire holding onto my desire and my love for the family while facing their criticism.
It is challenging and can be painful at times. Knowing that it came from my heart, helped me hold on to my dream — and let the opinions wash over me. It would be impossible without that conscious choice.
Since then, even though it’s been a process and there are still many fires to stand in, it has been increasingly more comfortable just to be me and share my “unorthodox path” with them.
Their expectations are beginning to subside, as they realise that my life is unconventional and learn to discover this nonconformist daughter.
By standing up for my ideal life in this way, I let go of any power they have over me and hand it back to them, giving them the option to choose.
Standing up for yourself isn’t easy. It’s especially challenging when you’re trying to build a life that you love because that’s the time when you need positivity and encouragement.
Holding on to the earnest vision that only good can come from standing in your heart’s desires, you’ll realise what real love is, and it will ultimately reframe how you approach life and relationships.
Imagine if Van Gogh’s, Einstein, Voltaire, Miles Davis or Alfred Nobel had chosen to appease their parents instead of following their desires and artistic integrity, we’d be deprived of some of the most inspiring artists, and free thinkers the world has ever known.
The family has no clue of the ties and chains they place on you; therefore, it’s essential to come from a loving place when standing your ground and claiming your life.
Most parents aren’t aware of what they’re doing. Should they be punished for that?
I did for a looooooong time. I choose not to anymore.
They want what’s best without knowing what’s better.
They will never see you the way you are until you stop focusing your energy on getting their approval and concentrate on your happiness instead.
Just be you, the world needs the Unicorn that lives in you
I love you, I believe in you and I am your ally in transformation
Have you finally decided that this is your year? Maybe you’ve made massive efforts to move forward in your business, but it still hasn’t happened. Perhaps, you’ve invested tons of dollars in mentors and coaching, but you haven’t exactly got the results you were hoping for.
Maybe you think success and business are for other people and not for you and you just wish you had a magic wand to make it all work.What if I told you that you are the one limiting your business growth.
Money blocks are a massive part of putting a break on your business growth. Clearing these blocks is the way to get past them. I’d love to help.
Today let’s talk about three significant ways you could be limiting your business growth right now.
Are you investing a lot of money for personal development stuff, but not the practical things in your business and therefore limiting your business growth?
First, let’s get honest
It is essential to work on yourself to be an accomplished woman in business, but you need to balance investing in you with the practical things that are going to help you increase your income as well.
Recently I was about to spend money on a workshop and realised this was not the smartest thing to do at this time. I was still doing everything in my business and scared of investing in the practical stuff. I wasn’t thinking out of the box at all. I was running trying to do everything and stressing myself out instead of doing what I was good at and outsource some tasks
I decided to spend some money on practical things that were stressing me out and preventing me from making more money.
You can’t do it all yourself. Well, you can, but you shouldn’t. You can invest in a freelance site like Fiverr or freelancer.com to manage your inbox, a bookkeeper to make it easier at tax time or a company to manage your social media platforms. Believe me; outsourcing made me feel super grown up and in business.
Perhaps for you, it’s to hire someone to do your ironing or cleaning or a nanny to free you up to do the work that you truly love and excel at, which is amazing for growing your business!
Think about where you’re at and what investment will move your business forward. I’m not saying don’t invest in self-development. I’m a huge fan and would be the empowered woman I am if I hadn’t joined great programs, but I see too many entrepreneurs like us who have an approach to investing in ourselves but not in the things that will make your life easier.
The important thing is that you have the resources you need to stop living the life of a busybody in your own business and start having the freedom again to focus on and work in your zone of genius!
Waiting for the magic solution
The other way you’re limiting your business growth: waiting for the magic solution.
Consistency is key to building a striving business, not a magical solution. The truth behind six or seven-figure business is boring.
When I first heard my high-end business mentors talking about his 10K business. His strategy was so simple, I thought hmm “This is the beginning, he’s going to dive deeper and tell us the secret behind the multiple zeros,” but that was it.
It was sticking to the basics, rinse and repeat
There’s no magic solution. People always think there is a secret sauce that successful entrepreneur don’t share with them.
Consistency is the secret weapon and leads to success
Just go deep into your zone of genius and try one thing rather than trying new things all the time.
Prioritize money mindset work every day
Here’s the third way that you to grow your business: Practice money mindset work daily.
The women I speak to say they want to work on their money mindset but don’t have the time or are waiting for the money first – which is completely
Mindset work should come first, business strategy second. Building a business with the same beliefs and money blocks will sabotage and limit your business growth
You have to find the time to work on your money mindset and treat that as just as necessary as building your business. Without it, everything else is going tedious and scary.
Money mindset work is a continuous process. Not a miracle solution.
To keep on growing, you have to do that work and clear the mental blocks. Increasing your income level is not the solution either. You might think “I’m changed forever! Hurray.” But, it is not that simple. Having more money does not fix money blocks.
I consistently work on my money mindset and clear my blocks so I can maintain and go to the next level in my business. The mindset work got me here, and it’s helping me grow as well.
It doesn’t stop it gets easier. You have to keep doing it.
Woman, it’s your time to shine and you’re ready for the next step.
A lot of people today live their lives to please others. They do not consider the fact that they need to do what makes them happy.
Therefore they are torn in between being pleasant to everyone at the expense of their happiness.
A big part of my life was spent trying to impress the people around me.
Whether in the workplace, my friendships or my family, I was continually trying to impress hoping to find acceptance. It feels good to be loved by others, but trying to gain approval from everybody is a game that keeps you on your toes 24/7.
Living for the approval of others enslaves you to their opinions.
Living for the approval of others is a draining process and will never harvest eternal fulfilment.
Living for the approval of others is a waste of your precious life.
The truth is that not everybody would like you. That’s just the way life is, and it’s ok.
You could be the most helpful person on earth or the most celebrated saint ever to live, yet some who want to be like you or desire to wallow in evil deeds would not like you.
Hey! Even Jesus and Gandhi had people who did not like them!
I used to be a people pleaser, and I’ve always had a hard time hearing when someone didn’t like me.
Over the last few years, I’ve come to realise how dependent I was on the other’s appreciation, and I knew it was time to make a radical change.
It was time to pump up my self-worth, love myself and drop my comedy mask.
I’ve since learned it’s a good sign if some individuals don’t accept or agree with me.
I’m not suggesting we should be rude, inconsiderate, or disrespectful. This post isn’t about disregarding other people’s feelings.
It’s about releasing your stress about other people’s opinions.
Here is what letting go of that need and learning to be comfortable not being liked by everyone taught me in the past ten years.
# It allows you to be true to who you are.
You do a great disservice to yourself trying to please and adjust your behaviour for the assembly. It’s tiring (and painful) and, more importantly, pointless.
No one will get to know who you are, it will not allow you to connect at a deeper level with people who will leave you feeling sterile, empty and somehow lonely.
# It gives you the power to say no.
People are good at heart. Still, it’s human nature is to push each other’s boundaries. When you decide it’s ok to be being disliked, you also give yourself permission to say no when needed.
Yeses and Nos shape your future, so choose them wisely.
# You’re more comfortable exploring your feelings.
It feels fantastic just to be who you are without acting for someone’s sake? It’s liberating to be able to say, “Hell yeah—I’m terrified” or lonely or weak or struggling regardless of what people will think.
# Your sincerity helps others.
It’s often the least favourite people in our life who strike the deepest chord in us.
Be unpopular when necessary and push people to be their best could be the most loving act you do for them. You may just save someone’s life.
# You can express your thoughts freely.
One of the kindest things you can do for someone else is listening without judging. You deserve that same kindness, but you won’t always get it. People will form opinions as you speak. Talk anyway.
Let your words be kind but fearless.
# It prepares you for greater success.
Pick a favourite Twitter user and look at their @replies. Odds are they field their fair share of harsh comments. The higher you rise, the more attention you’ll receive, both positive and negative.
A willingness to be disliked helps you deal with the added scrutiny.
# It teaches you to offer kindness and compassion without expectations.
It’s not difficult to be compassionate to someone who treats you with respect and kindness. What’s more valuable for your personal development, and to humanity as a whole, is the ability to do what’s right because it’s right—not because you get something in return.
# You can inspire other people.
There is someone I know who has the uncanny ability to keep going even when others try to pull her down. I learn from her every day. To this woman, anyone who doesn’t appreciate her positive, over-the-top personality is a reminder that she is unique and unafraid.
# You can use your time wisely.
If you want to be liked by everyone, odds are you’re spreading yourself way too thin trying to keep them all happy. We need to use our time judiciously to enrich ourselves and others instead of worrying about everyone’s perceptions.
# You can choose to smile anyway.
You could use your energy to make daily inventories of everything wrong—the money you don’t have, the esteem you didn’t earn, the people you disappointed. Or you could commit to being your best, and then just sit back and smile. Life will always be a balancing act. Learn to teeter in serenity
Living a cautious life is criminal! (well, at least to yourself)
Therefore, in all that you do and in your relationships with people, you need to tread wisely.
Not everyone is going to like me. My writing or agree with my beliefs. A lot of people don’t like the way I dress or don’t understand the way I live my life. I’m ok with that.
I’d encourage you to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of life.
For most people, the creation of new products is not determined to do the easiest and most enjoyable task. However, because it is the best way to make money online, anyone who wants to generate income fast and closer to their financial freedom learning the ropes of creation must product.
Here’s how you can make money with product creation:
1. Make Money – Solve a problem.
You will be able if you know the whole process of product creation a bit easier that the urgent problems faced by your target audience. So, before you formulate effective product ideas, consider spending at least a couple of hours on forums and blogs frequented by your prospects. You need to do this so that you personally these people can ask about the things that bother them. Then create a product that will solve their problems. For example, if they are struggling eBook writer, please send an audio product, such as MP3 or CD series featuring a step-by-step on how people can make their first electronic book without containing sweat.
2. Make Money – Physical vs. digital products.
Although there is no rule that will prevent you from making the physical or tangible products, I recommend that you stick with digital products as they are more cost-effective and easy to distribute. You can an eBook about the things that you are very passionate about starting or advanced e-coaching programs that can help your prospects to register their professional and personal development. These products will not require you need to shell out a huge amount of money for your initial investment because they are not raw materials and manpower.
3. Make Money – Be informed.
Always keep yourself posted on the latest trends taking the Internet by storm. You can do this simply by subscribing to the relevant RSS feeds and by constantly doing your research. You can also watch TV, read magazines or tune into the relevant radio programs to know what kind of sales for products like hot cakes in the offline arena. Who knows, you can fix these product ideas and to offer to Internet users.
4. Make Money – Understand your competition.
Want to get ahead of the pack, you have the strengths and weaknesses of those people who you learn from. You can use this information to ensure that your products will be as useful and valuable to the eyes of your prospects.
5. Make Money – Always remember to take your products for a test drive.
Not once, but often, to make sure all the links work properly. Ask your customers for feedback; there are improvements you can make to them – this is easy to do with information products. With the help of feedback from your customer, you can make even better products.
Life can be rough sometimes, and most people, at one time or another, feel crap. This can mean different things for different people.
It might include feeling sad, angry, stressed out, or fed up. It might also be a sense of not feeling like yourself or feeling physically sick.
Why do you feel like down?
Sometimes it is difficult to work out why. Identifying the factors that are contributing to this feeling might help you to work out how to deal with it. Remember —it’s just a feeling and it’s likely to pass.
Some reasons you might feel down:
You’ve experienced difficult or stressful events.
People around you are experiencing tough times.
Iit’s not uncommon for other people’s unhappiness to influence how you’re feeling. Seeing people you care about feeling sad is hard; it can also be because of the way they’re coping with their emotions, they are challenging to be around.
Not being able to identify the reason for how you are feeling is not uncommon. Factors that might contribute to feeling shitty include:
Stress —Stress can come from many different sources, like pressures, work or home, colleagues, friends, or even your expectations Grief —This includes the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship or friendship Depression and other mental illnesses.
Family problems, like parents going through a divorce or fighting, or transitioning to a stepfamily Issues at work, like bullying or violence Relationship or friendship problems, like breaking up or fighting with a boyfriend or girlfriend Moving into a new house Starting a new job Living with someone with a mental or physical illness or disease; Feeling bored or uninspired.
Physical or biological factors might also influence your feelings and reactions as well as how you think about yourself and the world around you. Environmental factors might include:
Not eating well Not getting enough exercise or sleep Using drugs or alcohol Being sick, or fighting off illness, which can make you feel run down and not well Chronic disease or other medical conditions.
Hormonal changes, especially for women during their menstrual cycles. It may happen a few days before you get your period, and you may not make the connection immediately.
Tips on what to do if you’re feeling down.
When you’re feeling down, you might have the urge to lash out at someone, even if they had nothing to do with your feelings. Here are some ideas that might stop you from blowing up and help you get to a happier place.
Once you figure out what might be causing you to feel down, you can do something about it. On the ReachOut site, you’ll find tonnes of info on different issues, including depression, family and relationships and suggestions on how to manage your feelings and where to get help.
Talk to someone.
Talking to someone you feel comfortable with, like a friend, parent or counsellor, can be a great way of expressing your feelings. These people might also be able to help you identify why you are feeling down and work out strategies for dealing with it.
Sometimes getting some space away from what is making you feel this way or a change of scenery can be helpful. Go for a walk or listening to your favourite music, reading a book, going to the movies, or whatever works for you.
Express your feelings.
I find that writing down my feelings can be a great way of understanding my current emotions in a particular situation. It can also help you come up with alternative solutions to problems.
Express your feelings in a way that won’t cause bodily damage to yourself or another person. Try yelling or crying into a pillow, dancing around the room to loud music or punching a pillow. My favourite is to pull some Beyonce, or Shakira moves on loud music in my kitchen 🙂
Post in the forums.
You can also share your struggle anonymously in the ReachOut forums in a non-judgmental space and get support from others who have been where you are and gotten through it.
Find things to do to distract yourself from feeling low, and that gets you thinking creatively. This includes drawing a picture, writing a poem, or playing a game. Even though you might not feel like it, at first, even a little creativity might be enough to shift your mood.
Take care of yourself.
Feeling low may be your body telling you it needs to take time out, and pushing yourself might make things worse.
Take time out to spoil yourself by doing something that you usually enjoy. Even though you might not feel like it, exercising getting plenty of sleep and eating well help a lot.
Exercise stimulates endorphins, which help you feel better. I f you haven’t done a lot of exercises before, it might be a good idea to start doing something small a couple of times each week, such as a 15-minute walk or cycle.
Avoid alcohol or other drugs (including lots of caffeine or other energy-boosting drinks) in the hopes of feeling better. The feeling temporary and the side effects often make you feel worse.
It may be a simple one or an elaborate thousand- piece jigsaw puzzle. Either way, as you work through this jigsaw puzzle of life, chances are that you’re going try to force the parts to fit together in odd ways.
They look like they have the right shape, but as you carry on, you realise that they’re not aligned. So what do you have to do? You start again and reassemble those pieces the proper way.
Look at your life
You might think it’s going smoothly. Your family looks happy. You seem to progress in your job.
Then one day, you’re made redundant, betrayed by the boss you trusted and relied upon to help further your career.
This situation blindsides you. Your perfect world suddenly collapses. Or maybe you’ve planned a six months trip around the world with your fiance — tickets and accommodations booked — and she/he breaks up with you one week before departure.
You beat yourself up about it thinking, “How could I have made such a terrible mistake?”
The answer is this
You are a jigsaw puzzle assembled the wrong way. However, the wrong way is often the right path. It’s a blessing to be “wrong”.
It hurts, but to your advantage it allows you to uncover the truth. This type of information is worth a king’s ransom.
You may have to rearrange a few puzzle pieces, or it may be an entire part. Mistakes are gifts whatever the size of the challenge.
Being wrong is an eye-opener; it uncovers the truth and allows change to come.
Change fuels growth and evolution
Don’t ever be scared to trust someone, build a business or fall madly in love.
There is no right or wrong there is just an opportunity to reassemble the pieces of your puzzle, change their position, put them in a new section and learn how to connect the pieces at precisely the perfect points.
When you do so, you’ll start seeing the big picture.
Assemble YOUR life just as you would a jigsaw puzzle.
Bit by bit. Section by section. You may get impatient at times, or discouraged, or feel as though you’d instead stop.
What you have to remember is that the pieces are all there. When you try different ways to place them where they belong you discover more connections.
Soon you begin to visualise and perceive images as they come together to form the overall vision of your life.
Do you have a goal, a dream?
What does your jigsaw puzzle look like? Are the pieces falling into place, or are you forcing them to fit where they don’t belong? If the image is incomplete, keep trying; the answers are all inside of you.
And at this very moment, an unexpected picture is revealing itself to you one “gift” and one “piece” at a time.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”.
—George Bernard Shaw
Disruption is the force I stand for in every blog I write.
But it’s not enough to only talk about ideas. We have to be part of them. So I’ve turned my life—my mindset, my body and my relationships—into a lab for disruption and innovation.
Disrupting myself and everything I have ever known is my riskiest and scariest move to date.
All my life people have been telling me: You should be a teacher a translator, or you should open a shop. NO. I am not that, and I never will be. Furthermore, I want to be more than any of that; I want to be a voice — the intersection of culture, entrepreneurship and life.
That’s what I want to be, and that’s what I hope I represent.
So welcome entrepreneurs. We may fail. We may succeed.
Our new way of living and thinking may cause a commotion. Guess what? That’s the point. That’s Disruption. I stand alongside your journey toward change because I believe in what you are doing, and want to be a part of it. Because together, we represent the future of our economy and our culture.
Change isn’t easy.
As I learned through redesigning my life, there are hard days, budgetary constraints, disagreements and hurt feelings and times when I wonder why I started this crazy undertaking at all.
When you wish you had just played it safe and were doing something, anything, else.
You stick to it because what you are doing is not just important—it may be your legacy. Also if it were straightforward, everyone would be doing it.
A decade ago entrepreneurship was associated with fraud, trickery. Being an entrepreneur meant not having a job.
Look how things have evolved, and now entrepreneurship is a synonym of vision, risk, character, influence because it is now about living the dream. It is more than being your boss because it is about creating something and change mentalities or the course of history.
Look at the best-performing companies, leaders, personalities, cultures and operations—and, more important, why they perform. For any entrepreneurs, it’s an excellent way to find lessons, takeaways and hints to building a sustainable company—one that will stand for disruption for years to come.
Entrepreneurs aren’t just building businesses; they’re building stronger communities by helping resolve issues.
The heart of my business is my love for women; I am a Feminist who wants to empower women in all areas of their lives and convert their problems and doubts into opportunities.
Finally, if this resonates with you if you have a dream and want to be at service of others and provide value to your communities and the world try our 1-month free trial leading edge educational programme by clicking now on the link below.
My name is Cynthia, I live in London and used to work in retail as a store manager then as a sales project manager. I worked 60 to 65 hours a week and had to commute four hours a day. I felt drained, used and resentful, I never had the time or freedom to make choices without having to report to a boss. Still, I was tolerating this situation.
Well, I didn’t know any better. My environment of friends, family and work colleagues shaped my belief system, and I thought that getting an education and climbing the corporate ladder was the only path to success. I saw myself continually working hard in something with no passion.
To afford a living and stay stuck in a system of working harder and harder to pay my bills. Depressing hey!
It all changed in 2014; I just got back from 2 weeks holidays with my family. I had a great time with family and old friends, but also realised they had experienced things I didn’t know about and had not been a part of because I lived abroad and only saw them for two weeks once a year.
Why? Because I was slaving away at something I was not passionate about and no time to spend with the most important people in my life?
That was my Wake Up Call
I started searching for ways to generate more income so I had more time and freedom. Following my passion for coaching, I started saving money, enrolled in a Coaching Training course and started working part time. Finally, I was going to follow my passion. I was so excited by the prospect of becoming a coach, help people and spend less time in my job.
After three months of study, I got stuck, I had not done enough research in the course and found it tough and scary to do it on my own with no mentorship. I lost motivation, confidence, and gave up. I beat myself up for this and felt stuck for months, feeling sorry and angry at myself and incapable of taking action.
BACK TO THE TRUTH
After eighteen months of procrastination, I decided to get a coach to help me get my Mojo back. My coach Oranit helped me graduate to a crystal clear level of understanding of who I am and what I want to achieve.
Who says that your reality has to suck? Your reality is whatever you perceive it to be. Once you realise you have the CHOICE and ABILITY to take control of your life that feeling of being an energetic, brave soul comes back, believe me, the world becomes exciting again!
Freedom was my goal, and I wasn’t sure how to achieve that. So I started (rather obsessively) reading, searching watching, following inspiring, influential, wealthy, successful people and noticed the common denominator between them was Entrepreneurship. My mindset on business life and money started shifting.
I started thinking I want my own business. How am I going to achieve the lifestyle of my dreams? Is there a solution out there? I had to find a way knowing I had no savings and a part time salary that barely provided for my basic needs.
It was there all along!
The Internet is a flexible platform that allows anyone to set up a business quickly with low costs. Not only that, running a digital business allows a person to set up automated systems that could generate income and sales from anywhere in the world. All you need is a laptop and an Internet connection.
No boss to report to, no cap on my earnings and no one to tell me when I can and can’t take holidays!
After a long debate with myself, I emailed my friends and family and borrowed money and invested in my first mentors and digital education program. I had support at every level through setting up my first online business. As a student, I can earn while I learn this new skill.
I have quit my job and never felt so free, happy and relaxed. I have now been in this program for eight months; I am still mastering this digital business. I have to work hard, but the rewards have exceeded my expectations. I will soon live the life I have crafted in my mind for years, take care of my family, coach women into entrepreneurship, and have the privilege to buddy anyone who wants to start this business while growing a passive income.
WE ALL DESERVE TO LIVE LIFE ON OUR TERMS
If building your own business is new to you, you know how difficult the transition from ’employee’ to ‘entrepreneur’ can be! You will a support team, coaches and a whole community to guide you through that transition and getting you to think (and act) as an entrepreneur.
If you are interested learning what I do, I would like to share with you the same training I used to get myself started.
You are in for a treat, at the moment we have a 30-day free trial access and then it’s just $25/m if you decide to stay on
This training is packed with information and will give you a clear picture of what it takes and how it all works. You’ll also learn how you can get started in the simplest, fastest and safest way.
I hope my story inspires you to go for YOUR dream!
In your consciousness, you have a store cupboard where you accumulate everything that you have endured. It has files of childhood, files of your relationship and different experiences. Some contain bad experiences and pain.
The heart may hurt, broken or wounded. You carry it with you. What do do with the past? What has the past done to you? The past is already gone; the situation has passed.
Letting go is the best way to erase the pain that there is in your soul, and that has left furrows on your brain and your heart.
Meditation is the tool I used to heal my heart, but also, physically, I erased the impact that experiences of pain had left on my body.
With deep meditation, not with a relaxation of a few minuted. I have healed my fears, pains and the sorrows I have accumulated in my life.
On letting go of the baggage of the past, the blocks that you have in the present, brought on by previous experiences, will disappear.
Simply let go of it, don’t question it, and don’t re-live that situation in your mind even one more time. Let go of it, it already happened.
When did that happen in 1998, in 2000, yesterday, whenever?
It happened, let it go; don’t cling to it anymore.
It is greed, bitterness, anger, fear, attachment and dependence that make you hold to it.
Let all those accumulated experiences that put you in a victim position, make you drink, take drugs, overeat or starve yourself, be surrounded by toxic people, vanish. Be wise let go of what extinguishes you!
It is crucial to be at peace with your past to fully enjoy your present.
Full stop to the past. Live in the NOW.
Do you every feel crazy busy and so overwhelmed that you can’t get things done because there is a too much going on? Whether it’s information overload, tonnes of projects or technology shooting from every direction?
1- Define specific goals.
The great thing about modern life is you can do so much, and the problem is you can do so much! So it becomes critical to define what you want to do and simplify things down. I suggest that you have three short-term goals (today), three medium term goals (2 to 4 weeks), three long-term goals (6 to 12 months) and 3-lifetime goals. Like this you work towards short-term and long-term goals, it helps you prioritise and forces you to stay focused and lift a huge weight from your shoulders. When we try to do too much, we get overwhelmed and at the end of the day, realise we were busy but still did not accomplish much. People underperform because they fail to prioritise and define specific goals.
2 – Stop screen sucking
There is this common tendency of checking emails, social medias, messages. We start by checking one email and an hour later we are still glued on to the screen, sucking away at it! Screens exert a hypnotic power over our eyeballs, and we lose track of time and of what we’re not doing. Screens have now become interactive and activate the same dopamine circuitry that drives addictions; it captures your attention, you don’t give it away it seduces away from you. So beware of screen sucking, one way to prevent it is to have a set amount of time that you reserve for the digital world, and then turn it off otherwise it’s like a jar sweets on your desk you keep reaching for it. There’s something irresistible about an unopened message that we can’t resist.
People spend a least 20 minutes dealing with unplanned interruptions. It’s a colossal waste, not only we spend time dealing with the disruption but it takes time, and it’s not easy to get back to what we had been doing and reconstitute our focus.
3 – Think about It
Don’t say yes to everything. Most of us tend to be quickly very generous and say sure I’ll do it, and it’s a great asset, but if you’re not careful, it becomes a liability. Before we know it, we’re over-committed, over-stretched over-booked and about to snap.
You can say no directly and if you are not comfortable doing so try to say let me think about it and I will get back to you then you can say I thought about it I don’t have time to do justice to your project. People will appreciate your honesty and approach.
4 – Never worry alone.
The irony of modern life is that we are super connected electronically, but as we’ve done so, we have disconnected interpersonally. There is an awful lot of unacknowledged loneliness out there. People miss that sense of affiliation, of belonging, and company. Keep in mind the people that you can call to worry about money, relationships, work, close friends you can worry about anything but we also need people with expertise.
Three things to do when worrying, don’t do it alone, get your facts because Toxic worry is usually rooted in the wrong information, the lack of information or both. The last step is to make a plan; when we have a plan, we feel more in control, and less vulnerable wich makes us more efficient. Worrying becomes toxic when we are alone; we overthink, dramatise, globalise, get paralysed, anchored down, then you withdraw and disconnect. Sharing the worry with someone is problem-solving and then the next minute you laughing about it.
5- Cultivate your garden and get rid of weeds.
Your garden is the people or projects that are worth it.
They may take a lot of time and effort, may cause you all kinds of pains and agony but in the long run, they are worth it. To have time for your garden, you’ve got to get rid of weeds: people or projects that are not worth it. They may be worth it in their own right but not to you; they don’t pay back the time that you put in. People keep weeds for two reasons guilt or inertia. Withdraw from them so you can prioritise and focus on what matters to you.
We often forget to use the control we have.
You are stronger than you think.
People that are hungry for success are not playing at being successful.
They don’t even ask that question because even if they fail they’re going to keep going no matter what. So when people ask the question “is it ok to fail”? I worry and wonder if it is because they want a place to hide. I fear that it’s because they want to give themselves job security.
If you want to own your life, the first thing you throw out of the window is job security. You also need to realise that failure is the most valuable learning opportunity that there will ever be. If you show that you learn from your mistakes, it almost doesn’t matter how big the mistake is. What is important is that you earn the reputation of being a person who learns from a mistake.
When I started my online business, I wrote a few bullet points about my belief system and one of them is that failing is fine and does not make you a failure!
If someone tells me don’t do it, you might fail. Regardless of what they say I still decide to go out and fail.
If I fail, I move quickly beyond it and actively learn from my mistakes and look at them as an education.
People that succeed don’t repeat the same mistakes over and over. They don’t set out to fail; they set out to move fast and do something great. They talk about failure only as a reminder that it’s potent, that failure is a lesson, they’re focused on moving forward.
So the real question you should be asking yourself is what reputation do I need to earn?
The reputation you want everyone to know is the one of a person who doesn’t stop when they hit an obstacle they keep going. That person is driven, has got a vision and is going to accomplish it. People would follow someone like that.
Now if you want to be a leader there is no rule manual, there are only people understanding your vision and inspired by you. I just heard an excellent quote recently “If you really want to be a great person in a great relationship, then the person by your side, should feel better about themselves when they walk away.
Think about that for a minute. That’s a leader.
They should feel better for having spent time with you the mere act of being in your presence makes them feel better about them, not about you! Now that’s a reputation I would love to earn for myself. That is what we should be focused on. To get the results, you’re going to have to pick yourself up, to brush yourself off, get the skills you are lacking and led to your failure in the first place. Learn from that mistake figure out how it’s applicable, show the world that it’s not going to stop you or slow you down and that you’re going to keep going. Find the fire in your guts, feed that fire and turn it into something real and you will become unstoppable, why because YOU choose to be.
What the F does it matter whether mistakes are ok or not? You build that reputation, let people see it pouring out of every action, you have a vision and know exactly what you want to accomplish with your life and you’re going F. to do it.
Own the fact that you are not yet the person you need to be in order to accomplish it. Don’t worry about that because you’re hell bent to acquire the skills you need to execute and achieve the things you want.
Think about your reputation, don’t worry about failure. Reflect on who you want to be, focus on things that built lasting happiness. Remember that fire that gets you out of bed and makes you want to be a better version of yourself.
It’s ok because you say it’s ok not because I say it’s ok.
Let’s talk about the maximum impact and the ultimate performance and hyper epic productivity.
Would you like to be productive? I know that you want. Because productivity equals fulfilment. Productivity enables progress, therefore, achievement. When you’re productive, you’re doing something meaningful, and you’re progressing in moving forward and live a fulfilling life.
Tonnes of research, as well as my little personal experience, prove that the most masterful one becomes, the more they follow a specific daily system and routine. Why? Two straightforward and inarguable reasons:
Efficiency and Effectiveness
Research on the wealthiest people of the world found that about 85% of them have a daily routine that they follow.
Do you have a routine?
In the past two weeks, I have asked friends and co-workers to describe their days, most of them describe it in a comprehensive, nonspecific fashion.
That’s why their results are not where they want them to be, not the only reason but one of the reasons.
Ultimate performers have a plan; they have a routine. Now, why is this important? There is a phenomenon in psychology called decision fatigue. You and I are every single days flooded with devastating distractions.
The masses are addicted to complexity; the masters are committed to simplicity.
The act of making a decision erodes your ability to make later decisions; Psychologists call it decision fatigue; This is why shopping for groceries can be so exhausting, and judges give harsher rulings later in the day.
Managing decision fatigue calls for the high-value, low-effort systemisation that entrepreneurs swear by.
What the masters understand is that there is a limited amount of willpower, this is science-based.
If you are using your willpower on low-level activities when it comes to the higher level activities, you are not going to have the willpower you need.
Now here is what else research tells us, you spend about 18%of your entire life; showering, shaving, fixing your hair, fixing your makeup, deciding what to eat and eat!
What’s the ROI (return on investment) on those particular activities, think about it! What’s the return investment you are getting on almost 20% of your entire life?
What you must do is routinise yourself.
It’s called the level of automaticity in psychology that means things happen, and you don’t even have to think about them.
You don’t want to spend your limited amount of willpower on deciding what to wear or eat and then make poor decisions when it comes to high leverage decisions.
Steve Job was always wearing a black turtleneck and jeans.
Mark Zuckerberg always wears in public a T-shirt, hoodie and jeans, when asked he said: “I really want to simplify my life so that
I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve the community.”
President Barak Obama “You’ll see I wear only grey or blue suits, I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing.
Because I have too many other decisions to make.” You need to focus your decision-making energy.
You need to routinise yourself. You can’t be going through the day distracted by trivia.”
it’s a pretty wise habit from a guy who’s in charge of making a lot of very critical and weighty decisions.
Even decisions that seem trivial and mundane, like what to eat for breakfast, can be exhausting over time; and will burn up your willpower. Please read that again.
Research suggests it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. A more recent study at the University of London suggests that it takes 66 days.
Which is more accurate? Who knows?
One thing is sure between 21 days and 66 days you will have to use willpower (which remember is limited), to lock in the new behaviour.
After that is when the real magic begins. For after that time, the new routine is locked in and becomes a habit.
How does this impact Ultimate Performance?
I don’t ever have even to think about doing these habituated things.
Therefore, you conserve your willpower for important decisions.
In addition to routine, adhering to a particular productivity method can be a fantastic way to manage willpower throughout the day.
Try this quiz to help you choose a plan that complements your working style.
Are you addicted to the complexity of the masses?
Or are you committed to the simplicity of mastery?
What’s your One Thing? What do you choose?
Just think of how much better it will feel when you hear yourself saying “that was a productive day.”
You deserve to accomplish what matters to you. Be bold, Be Epic and Go for it.
Think about it.
It’s your decision.
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