When growing up the harshest flip we face is when our unconditional supporters become our harshest critics.
Home becomes a war zone; mom and dad turn into THE enemy.
Then comes the blessed time in life when you spread your wings and leave the nest. Right?
We are all familiar with this. You turn eighteen, go off to University and move out the house or the country like me :-)))
As you grow older, you learn to realise one of the most important things you need to decide is who you choose to disappoint in life.
Despite each of us eventually breaking through the regular cycle of leaving home and starting our own lives, many of us still feel obligated to our family.
There is this need to PLEASE and make our parents proud. Thank god! There is a way out.
And I know because I’ve been experiencing it for the past ten years. I was a rebellious child, but rebellion doesn’t serve healthy relationships and eventually transforms into healthy independence and respect.
For some people, it’s much later in life than others; I’ve spoken with people in their late sixties who still feel obligated to their parents and as a result resentful.
For me, it started with realising that I value family. I love my tribe. Period.
I also love myself, which means I’m not going to give up my heart’s desires and dreams to comply with what my parents think is best for me like I had to all throughout my childhood until my thirties.
I’m passionate and have a strong desire to break free of the practical way of living. And that’s what I am doing.
At the same time, I know in my heart that love, especially with family members, ought to stand up to tests like this. It came with a price.
I learned to stand in the fire holding onto my desire and my love for the family while facing their criticism.
It is challenging and can be painful at times. Knowing that it came from my heart, helped me hold on to my dream — and let the opinions wash over me. It would be impossible without that conscious choice.
Since then, even though it’s been a process and there are still many fires to stand in, it has been increasingly more comfortable just to be me and share my “unorthodox path” with them.
Their expectations are beginning to subside, as they realise that my life is unconventional and learn to discover this nonconformist daughter.
By standing up for my ideal life in this way, I let go of any power they have over me and hand it back to them, giving them the option to choose.
Standing up for yourself isn’t easy. It’s especially challenging when you’re trying to build a life that you love because that’s the time when you need positivity and encouragement.
Holding on to the earnest vision that only good can come from standing in your heart’s desires, you’ll realise what real love is, and it will ultimately reframe how you approach life and relationships.
Imagine if Van Gogh’s, Einstein, Voltaire, Miles Davis or Alfred Nobel had chosen to appease their parents instead of following their desires and artistic integrity, we’d be deprived of some of the most inspiring artists, and free thinkers the world has ever known.
The family has no clue of the ties and chains they place on you; therefore, it’s essential to come from a loving place when standing your ground and claiming your life.
Most parents aren’t aware of what they’re doing. Should they be punished for that?
I did for a
They want what’s best without knowing what’s better.
They will never see you the way you are until you stop focusing your energy on getting their approval and concentrate on your happiness instead.
Just be you, the world needs the Unicorn that lives in you